


i would cheat and lie and steal, now i'll stay at home and kneel for you

by filippellis



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, Commitment, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, first I love yous, is that a thing ?? probably not, past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filippellis/pseuds/filippellis
Summary: it was so easy to cling onto a person while it was fun and discard them before it had the chance to get scary. loving someone fully always seemed so hard, so unattainable for him. but not with jim. it was easy with jim.-title from red light by the strokes
Relationships: Jim Halpert/Ryan Howard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	i would cheat and lie and steal, now i'll stay at home and kneel for you

the first thing that ryan could sense in his hazy state of the morning was the smell of fresh coffee. the rest of his senses were notably impaired; his vision still adjusting to the light, only a sheet against his back and palms. but the scent of coffee hit him as clearly as day, before his first thought even could. that, which happened to be, "coffee, that's nice."

he then sat up once his common sense kicked in, realizing he lived alone and had no clue who was in his apartment. after that, a realization which should have been obvious came to ryan: he wasn't in his apartment at all. he was in jim's.

he had woken up there several times before, as they'd been dating for three months or so. but each time he did, he always seemed to be lost for the first few moments of consciousness, forgetting where he was entirely. it was still so hard for him to believe that he was in a real, actual relationship, where he sometimes spent the night at jim's place and jim would sometimes spend the night at his. he had girls stay over his place in the past sure, but never on repeated occurrence. it was so easy to cling onto a person while it was fun and discard them before it had the chance to get scary. loving someone fully always seemed so hard, so unattainable for him. but not with jim. it was easy with jim. 

despite his many nights spent at jim's, this was the first he had ever woken up to coffee. he tossed the covers off of him, waltzing sleepily into jim's tiny kitchen to discover him brewing a cup of coffee, still in his sleeping attire. he couldn't have woken up much earlier than ryan; his hair was still a mess (in a cute way, of course,) and as he waited for the coffee he stretched his long arms up as high as he could the way he always did after a night in.

ryan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist from behind him, planting a kiss on his shoulder as he did so. "mmmornin," ryan yawned more than said, prompting a laugh and a kiss on the forehead from jim. "good morning to you too, ry. been awake for long?" ryan teasingly hit him in response to his rhetorical question, making them both chuckle as ryan took a seat as the kitchen table.

"i never knew you were a coffee-in-the-morning type of guy," ryan noted as he watched jim pour the finished coffee into an "i heart philly" mug. jim smirked, walking over to ryan with the novelty mug in hand. "but i know you are." ryan looked up at him, shocked.

"how'd you-"

"you always walk into work with a starbucks cup in hand," jim responded, cutting him off. "plus you always kinda seem like a mess in the morning, so...you know."

it was such a mundane yet intimate thing to ryan. out of habit, he had always waited until after whoever was staying the night at his place had left until he did anything he enjoyed, even making coffee. it always felt as though letting anyone see any the tiniest part of who he was would lead to nothing but pain, just something that they could use against him in some way. and however simple it'd be, if it were anything outside of the realm of his fake charisma he put on whilst on dates, he didn't let it slip out. that even included not making coffee until whoever was over left. 

but it wasn't like that with jim.

in that moment, as he stared at the mug handle held firmly in his palm, ryan wanted jim to know every little mundane fact about him. his favorite guilty pleasure shows he watched only when he was by himself, his favorite candle scents, the embarrassing shirts he bought in college and still wears around the house to this day. because in his heart manifested the undeniable truth that jim would never hurt him, and that ryan would never hurt him either. ryan knew that he had hurt so many people because of the walls he had built, his iron clad armor that he wore around his body so no one could ever touch him. but jim made ryan feel different. he made him feel safe enough to knock down his walls and go bare and just let him in and embrace him for all that he was and all that he was not.

but he couldn't say any of that. so instead he said something even bigger that he never thought he could ever say to anyone.

"i love you, jim."

the four words rolled off of ryan's tongue so effortlessly and confidently that even jim was surprised. ryan had always been a notorious hater of the proclamation, but it was just so abundantly true and clear that there was nothing else he could say. and suddenly ryan wasn't scared at all of what he had always feared, because he was so certain that he was with the right person.

a grin slowly spread onto jim's face as he stood in shock and silence. he set down the mug on the table, using his now free hand to cup ryan's face and kissing him with pure excitement and joy. he pulled away from the kiss, his hand remaining on ryan's face.

"i love you too, ryan."

ryan couldn't help but mirror jim's wide grin, placing his hand atop jim's and holding it.

"now drink your coffee before it get's cold!" jim exclaimed before making his way towards the fridge. "it's good coffee. i think. i don't drink it. but i'll get you the creamer."

"i take my coffee black!" ryan responded defensively and just a tad offended. jim just laughed, placing the creamer in front of ryan.

"ry, i see you taking sips of kelly's frappuccinos when she's not looking. yes you do." he shot ryan a wink, causing him to roll his eyes and smile.

"you know me too well halpert," he responded as he poured a sizable amount of the creamer into his coffee. he then reached out his hand jim, now sitting across the table from him, and squeezed his own.

and for the first time, someone did know ryan too well. and he didn't hate it at all.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed !! im so sleep deprived that i didnt even proofread this but i hope it wasn't too all over the place...i've only written one jimryan thing and it was sad and angsty so i decided they needed a fluff fic where ryan finally warms up to the idea of commitment because he's found the right person to commit to. which is a sweet idea in my opinion :-) 
> 
> fun fact i came up with this fic idea while making a jimryan fancam to redlight and i thought the lyrics fit ryan suspiciously well. so basically my brain today has just been jimryan and the strokes rot. but if you're interested in seeing that fancam tomorrow i'm gonna post it on my twitter @filippeIIis !! the last two "L"s are uppercase "i"s. because the officetwt really needs more jimryan stans cause rn its just me and sam tbh.
> 
> this has gotten wayyy too ramble-y for end notes and i have to go to bed, so i'll end it there. have a wonderful day/night wherever you are <3 !!


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